So, time left abroad is dwindling. This is my last weekend in Dortmund, I leave for Budapest in 6 days, and immediately after coming back I pack up everything I've got and after a short day in Madrid I am back in the USA. This has been the fastest year of my life and probably one of the most important. I have met so many people, improved my Spanish 10 fold, found out that German living would never be for me and most importantly found things that make my soul come alive.
Travel
Learning
Meeting People
These things I will take with me to my life at home. My family is of course excited to see me, my friends as well, and while I will be thrilled to see them I am afraid that after those first initial weeks of happiness I will fade into a deep homesickness for a place I am not from. A place that has had my heart since my first visit in May of last year. A country where some of the people most important to me come from.
Tengo miedo de que ya me haya enamorado de España y que quizá sea imposible volver a mi vida de antes.
There are ways to return, study, teaching English, travel , but I will never be able to return to the exact group of friends I had in León and all the time we spent together there. I will never be able to return to the long nights at Deli, walking home at 5am, drunkenly eating kebabs with people who would become some of my best friends. To the weekend travels and classes we struggled through. To the tuesday nights of chupitos gratis and the Wednesday morning resacas that could only be cured with cafe con leche y tortilla from El Bigote. To España, y la esperanza que podré volver pronto.
Though Spain is one of my favorite places in the world my time in Germany also deserves mention. I stayed here 3 months, took a basic German class and met some great people that I hope to stay in contact with after I leave.
I leave each group of people their own farewell (or hello)
To my friends and family at home who have supported me through everything, thank you and I will see you soon.
To the English speaking friends I met, thank you for bringing me a piece of home when I needed it most
A todos mis amigos Erasmus, gracias por todo. Compartimos mucho en este año y no hubiera sido lo mismo sin vosotros. No es adiós sino solo hasta luego.
A los españoles que he conocido, tanto en España como en Alemania, gracias por soportar los miles de preguntas que tengo del idioma y de vuestras vidas :p Por vosotros vi muchas cosas únicas.
Well all, I am not sure if I will get a post in about Budapest since I am not bringing my computer but I will update when I am home and settled. The adventure of life always continues...
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
T minus 3 Tage
Just wrapped up my last weekend in Leon, went for tapas, celebrated a friend's birthday and Sunday was a nice recovery day with a morning workout, a coffee in town and a lovely walk by the river. In 4 days I will be sitting at a friend's apartment in Bochum, preparing for a 3 month German course. As this big change gets closer I think more and more about my time in Spain and on my walk today I realized how unique and unrepeatable this experience is. I have met people here from around the world that quickly became great friends, traveled, ate new foods, adjusted to a new culture, improved my Spanish ten-fold and most of all grown as a person. I have so much more confidence, I want to help others who are planning to go abroad and I have had experiences that would have never been possible if I hadn't come to Leon.
However, now is a time not only for reflecting but also for looking into the future. I am going to a country where I do not know the language, where I do not have so many friends (none that live in the same city as me) and where everything will be new. A fresh start both scares and motivates me , but I think all good changes in life scare us a little. I am very lucky to have a friend who will be helping me through the tough first 2 weeks of living abroad and a handful of others I can visit on weekends, so it-s time to make the most of the last 3 days in Spain and say Hallo to Deutschland.
However, now is a time not only for reflecting but also for looking into the future. I am going to a country where I do not know the language, where I do not have so many friends (none that live in the same city as me) and where everything will be new. A fresh start both scares and motivates me , but I think all good changes in life scare us a little. I am very lucky to have a friend who will be helping me through the tough first 2 weeks of living abroad and a handful of others I can visit on weekends, so it-s time to make the most of the last 3 days in Spain and say Hallo to Deutschland.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
A piece of Home
Today I went to a new store in Leon called A Taste of America. I never thought that 40 euros of food could make me so happy. I got Tortillas, PEANUT BUTTER, cranberry sauce, KRAFT mac n cheese, strawberry jello, dried cranberries, Goldfish, herbal tea that I always had when I was little, root beer, bagels, refried beans, hot sauce , and 'capri sonne' which is German, but it tastes the same as Capri Sun from America :). As I sit on my couch and munch on these goldfish I realize how much the little things really matter.
I talked to the owners for a long time while I was in the store and they told me about their travels to America and how it inspired them to open up this store in Leon. This helped me to realize that no matter where you go , it is possible to find the things and people that make you feel 'en casa' . And of course, it helps to know that 1000s of other Americans will be eating the foods that I am eating : )). Today's adventure has made me feel a lot more secure in my decision to go to Germany at the end of this month because with some work, I know I can find the things and people I need to support me while I'm there. It also helps that my Jif peanut butter will most certainly be in my suitcase. Other than my amazing food adventure today I'm going to skype, study and make some bean burritos, all in all a good day. This coming week I have exams after after that , 12 free days in Spain!
I talked to the owners for a long time while I was in the store and they told me about their travels to America and how it inspired them to open up this store in Leon. This helped me to realize that no matter where you go , it is possible to find the things and people that make you feel 'en casa' . And of course, it helps to know that 1000s of other Americans will be eating the foods that I am eating : )). Today's adventure has made me feel a lot more secure in my decision to go to Germany at the end of this month because with some work, I know I can find the things and people I need to support me while I'm there. It also helps that my Jif peanut butter will most certainly be in my suitcase. Other than my amazing food adventure today I'm going to skype, study and make some bean burritos, all in all a good day. This coming week I have exams after after that , 12 free days in Spain!
Monday, February 24, 2014
When Everything Changes...
The end of this month will mark 6 months living in Spain. My mom visited last week and it really lifted my spirits, but now she is back home and I have to admit I am sad. I have watched a handful of people very close to my heart leave Leon and continue with their lives at home and while I am very happy for them it stings to think that they will probably never again be as big of a part of my life here as in the past 6 months.
On Friday my favorite roommate moves out, leaving me and the very quiet (but kind) girl that arrived this month. The city is just not the same without the people. Walking by certain land marks in town brings up memories and feelings that I just don't want to feel right now. They say that it-s the people that make an experience, more than the place but what do you do when the people and the place are now separate concepts? What do you do when you can't seem to connect with anyone new because they don't have your past shared experience? What do you do when you leave in 31 days for a country you know even less about and a city where you have no friends? These are the questions plaguing me in these days.
Some say it;s the best to just 'disfrutar' the time that you have left, to not think about the future nor the past. Keeping busy with the moment would be easy if my thoughts didnt drift to all the what ifs, all the unsureness of the future and all the memories of the past (both happy and sad). I thought it was difficult when my American friends weren't returning after Christmas but these goodbyes have proven to be different, because while they go home, and fit back into a place where they have always belonged I stay here, with only their memories, only their messages written from far away places.
Speaking of far away places Spain doesn't seem so exotic anymore. It doesn't have that exciting romanticized feeling that it did for the first 6 months, maybe it's the novelty fading, or maybe it's because the people are leaving but I can't help but feel that for the first time this place of my dreams is just like any other old place. I go to school, I work, I have days where I don't do much of anything. However, there is one manner in which it still feels far away and foreign and that is when I am sad. 4000 miles is too far away to hug your dogs or talk to your parents in the kitchen. Maybe it's not the place of my dreams afterall.
We will see what the next month has in store. A few more goodbyes, a few more tears, but hopefully some fun times and some good thoughts that I can take with me as I say goodbye to this city which will always have a slice of my heart.
On Friday my favorite roommate moves out, leaving me and the very quiet (but kind) girl that arrived this month. The city is just not the same without the people. Walking by certain land marks in town brings up memories and feelings that I just don't want to feel right now. They say that it-s the people that make an experience, more than the place but what do you do when the people and the place are now separate concepts? What do you do when you can't seem to connect with anyone new because they don't have your past shared experience? What do you do when you leave in 31 days for a country you know even less about and a city where you have no friends? These are the questions plaguing me in these days.
Some say it;s the best to just 'disfrutar' the time that you have left, to not think about the future nor the past. Keeping busy with the moment would be easy if my thoughts didnt drift to all the what ifs, all the unsureness of the future and all the memories of the past (both happy and sad). I thought it was difficult when my American friends weren't returning after Christmas but these goodbyes have proven to be different, because while they go home, and fit back into a place where they have always belonged I stay here, with only their memories, only their messages written from far away places.
Speaking of far away places Spain doesn't seem so exotic anymore. It doesn't have that exciting romanticized feeling that it did for the first 6 months, maybe it's the novelty fading, or maybe it's because the people are leaving but I can't help but feel that for the first time this place of my dreams is just like any other old place. I go to school, I work, I have days where I don't do much of anything. However, there is one manner in which it still feels far away and foreign and that is when I am sad. 4000 miles is too far away to hug your dogs or talk to your parents in the kitchen. Maybe it's not the place of my dreams afterall.
We will see what the next month has in store. A few more goodbyes, a few more tears, but hopefully some fun times and some good thoughts that I can take with me as I say goodbye to this city which will always have a slice of my heart.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Adapting
Sitting in my room on this rainy/snowy day looking at my phone charger with its European electric adapter makes me think of how when you live in a different country you also have to put on your adapter. Be it buying clothes to look like a local, trying to pick up colloquial speech or even tweaking your personality a bit to fit it with your surroundings. After almost 6 months here sometimes my adapter still does not function perfectly. There are days where I am frustrated that I can-t tell people what I mean in English, days where I feel like I will never fit in with the people in the street, nights where I am tired of going out to the same places in the same small town, and mornings where I really struggle to pull myself out of bed to go learn more grammar, culture or whatever it is we-re studying that day. Sometimes I feel like my Spanish adapter is slowly breaking down. This is especially true when I think of all the people close to me that are leaving in the next week. Friends that were only here one semester. This time next week almost all of the people I am super close to will be gone. And that will be the real test of adaptation, how you deal when you are here alone. The only thing that makes it better is that my mom is coming to visit on Sunday :). I have an English student this afternoon and afterward churros with some friends and a birthday party, days like this are good because they keep me distracted and moving forward
Sunday, December 1, 2013
The best of plans....
Sometimes you plan to go to Madrid for your birthday and it all falls through, sometimes you have days where you go through your full range of emotions in 12 hours, sometimes you are torn between your home where your family lives and your new 'home' abroad. Sometimes all these days fall into one and sometimes that day is called Nov 30 2013.
I haven't had too many hard days since moving to Spain in August but yesterday was definitely one of them. I spent a lot of time with my mom on skype, didn't eat a proper dinner and was just overall bummed. However, today is a new day (a new month in fact) and it´s to move past the Thanksgiving sadness, dust myself off from my failed trip plans and start over. Today is a day full of homework and maybe a brief outing with an American friend. What did I learn this week? Disasters happen, sometimes you cry a lot, but life goes on just like it does at home. I think that lesson is one of the most important ones you can learn abroad.
I haven't had too many hard days since moving to Spain in August but yesterday was definitely one of them. I spent a lot of time with my mom on skype, didn't eat a proper dinner and was just overall bummed. However, today is a new day (a new month in fact) and it´s to move past the Thanksgiving sadness, dust myself off from my failed trip plans and start over. Today is a day full of homework and maybe a brief outing with an American friend. What did I learn this week? Disasters happen, sometimes you cry a lot, but life goes on just like it does at home. I think that lesson is one of the most important ones you can learn abroad.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
74 days in, a lifetime to go
Though I haven't been blogging I´ve been thinking a lot lately. After over 10 weeks in Spain some parts of my life are finally starting to feel normal. I have a solid group of friends I hangout with, I can hold everyday conversations in Spanish without (a lot of) fear and I have a set routine which includes classes in the morning and students in the afternoon. However, some days still feel like I just arrived. I still get lost at least once a week, there are still a few incidents where I have no idea what someone is saying to me and there are nights where all I wanna do is go home and cuddle with my dogs. While the bad days seem horrible and the good days seem amazing overall life is normal. I never though I´d say that living my life in Spain could be normal but instead of complaining about grandiose things like finding a piso and not understanding how to grocery shop we now complain that our favorite cafe isnt open on Mondays or that the tortilla we got for tapas was dry or the everyday things that everyday people complain about.
Now that all my residency paperwork is figured out I am a much happier camper and hopefully as of Novembre 26 I will have my resident card in hand. Right now I am fighting with a little homesickness because Thanksgiving and my birthday are approaching within the next month. I want nothing more to sit down on Thanksgiving and stuff myself with my dad's delicious turkey, but there is give and take because if I were home this semester I would be taking exams on my 21st birthday. Instead, I am celebrating a 4 day puente with a trip to Madrid.
So, 74 days in and what have I learned you ask?
1. Time isnt the same here. For those of you who follow Dr. Who Spain time is wibbly, wobbly, timey and wimey. No one is ever quite sure when homework is due, the extranjería never called me when my papers were ready and things that begin at 9 do not hit full swing until 10. Sometimes this is annoying however other times, such as when you cant find your keys and dont leave your piso until the exact time class starts, it can be beneficial. In general it is teaching me to relax. That things will work out when they work out, and not a moment before.
2. You cannot learn a language to the point of fluency without living somewhere that speaks it. I have learned more in 10 weeks here than in all my 4 years of previous study. People just dont call you an empollona at home....
3. Being American has disadvantages and advantages . First the bad, almost everyone will want to practice English with you. This is extremely annoying. Firstly because Im paying out the wazoo to be here to learn Spanish while the majority of the students pay significantly less and secondly, for them it is still practice in a foreign language, for me it is just another time that I revert back to my native language. This irks me so much. However, I have come across a very good gig teaching private English lessons for a beautiful 11 € per hour. Though this doesnt seem like much between my 4 students I pay rent and most of my groceries from this money.
4. You learn who your real friends are. I have kept in contact with only a handful of close friends back home and those that havent made an effort to contact me I have learned to let go of. Nothing like moving to a different continent to make you realize who is there for you. You also learn quickly who your closest friends are here. For example, my American friend MJ feeds me numerous times per week, calms me down when i am spastic and is always a good listening ear and reality checker. I also know that my group of friends f rom Italy would do anything for me. When everyone is in an unfamiliar situation and searching for support the walls come down quickly.
This coming weekend Im taking a trip to País Vasco with the Centro de Idiomas and Im very excited to spend a few days outside of León. While I love it here it is a bit small for my liking and I am looking forward to a day in a bigger city. Thats about it for now. I will try to update once more before Christmas
Now that all my residency paperwork is figured out I am a much happier camper and hopefully as of Novembre 26 I will have my resident card in hand. Right now I am fighting with a little homesickness because Thanksgiving and my birthday are approaching within the next month. I want nothing more to sit down on Thanksgiving and stuff myself with my dad's delicious turkey, but there is give and take because if I were home this semester I would be taking exams on my 21st birthday. Instead, I am celebrating a 4 day puente with a trip to Madrid.
So, 74 days in and what have I learned you ask?
1. Time isnt the same here. For those of you who follow Dr. Who Spain time is wibbly, wobbly, timey and wimey. No one is ever quite sure when homework is due, the extranjería never called me when my papers were ready and things that begin at 9 do not hit full swing until 10. Sometimes this is annoying however other times, such as when you cant find your keys and dont leave your piso until the exact time class starts, it can be beneficial. In general it is teaching me to relax. That things will work out when they work out, and not a moment before.
2. You cannot learn a language to the point of fluency without living somewhere that speaks it. I have learned more in 10 weeks here than in all my 4 years of previous study. People just dont call you an empollona at home....
3. Being American has disadvantages and advantages . First the bad, almost everyone will want to practice English with you. This is extremely annoying. Firstly because Im paying out the wazoo to be here to learn Spanish while the majority of the students pay significantly less and secondly, for them it is still practice in a foreign language, for me it is just another time that I revert back to my native language. This irks me so much. However, I have come across a very good gig teaching private English lessons for a beautiful 11 € per hour. Though this doesnt seem like much between my 4 students I pay rent and most of my groceries from this money.
4. You learn who your real friends are. I have kept in contact with only a handful of close friends back home and those that havent made an effort to contact me I have learned to let go of. Nothing like moving to a different continent to make you realize who is there for you. You also learn quickly who your closest friends are here. For example, my American friend MJ feeds me numerous times per week, calms me down when i am spastic and is always a good listening ear and reality checker. I also know that my group of friends f rom Italy would do anything for me. When everyone is in an unfamiliar situation and searching for support the walls come down quickly.
This coming weekend Im taking a trip to País Vasco with the Centro de Idiomas and Im very excited to spend a few days outside of León. While I love it here it is a bit small for my liking and I am looking forward to a day in a bigger city. Thats about it for now. I will try to update once more before Christmas
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